To fully illustrate the point I'll now examine some common scenarios and their ladder theory explanations. For purposes of these examples Tom will be our boy and Jane will be out girl.
Scenario 1: Tom meets Jane. She's
pretty and seems interesting to talk to. Tom and Jane start
haging out and talking more and more. Tom develops an attraction
to Jane, and one day tries to kiss her. Jane tell Tom she doesn't
think of him that way and she wants to remain friends. The next
few weeks contact between the two falls off. Jane starts fucking
an outlaw biker.
Ladder Theory Explanation: Tom met
Jane. Tom was immediately placed on the friends ladder. Tom
didn't know this. Tom tried to jump ladders. Jane kicked Tom in
the head rather than let him on and sent him hurtling to the
Abyss below. The oulaw biker was not on her friends ladder (they
never are) but rather on her good ladder.
Scenario 2: Tom meets Jane. She's
cute and seems smart. After an appropriate amount of time he asks
her out on a date. She acccepts and they have what seems to be a
perfectly nice date. Tom thinks he has a chance with Jane. He
asks her out again. She says no, either explicitly or by never
returning his phone call. Tom has no idea what the Hell just
happened. Jane starts fucking an unemployed alcoholic.
Ladder Theory Explanation: Jane
misrepresented which ladder Tom was on. He thought he was on the
good ladder because of her acceptance of the date. Mistake. This
led to an unintentional ladder jump. He was kicked into the
Abyss. In this situation, Jane often wants to stay friends
becasue you are so interesting and funny or some shit like that.
If this happens you are most likely an Intellectual Whore. I'm
sorry. This is most likely to be a ninja-bitch.
Scenario 3: A girl says any of the following to you:
You can see that a lot of problems can be avoided(though sadly not problem two) by declaring as soon as possible to a girl that you will not be friends under any circumstances. You can explain that she is too attractive or you can be blunt and say you don't want to bend your "friends" over a table and fuck them, but would rather play poker and go to the races with them, thus disqualifying her from friendship. As long as you are clear. This may scare a girl away. But if it does what would you want with such a skittish little twit anyway?